From a Size 22 to Healthy to Severe Rheumatoid Arthritis. I Can Relate.

There was a time not too long ago when there weren’t “big girl” trainers, and being overweight & motivated was NOT trendy. You were told to drink more green juice, and do a cleanse or take supplements. You weren’t taught how to use the science of mobility to change your body… Because very few had actually done it. “Skinny” trainers, or those whose biggest weight loss successes were dropping 2 pant sizes, complained to me they were “fat” and could relate to my struggles in certain training movements… No they couldn’t. With that kind of mindset, there’s no way they could understand my training. So I set on a mission to figure out how to build a stable and strong body, with no body-shaming mentality & no crash diets or toxic supplements or “cleanses.”

No matter how long it took.

…and then something happened. Life threw a curve ball. I couldn’t move, everything hurt. My performance declined, and I questioned my reality. I’d been diagnosed with something I didn’t plan for… an auto-immune disorder called seropositive rheumatoid arthritis. I sucked it up and started taking the medicines, and keep doing the work. It hurts every day, and some days I have to rest… but I don’t stop. I do what I’ve always done and re-evaluate the present moment and pick which things are really important to give energy to and which aren’t anymore. I find inspiration in everyone who’s actually doing the daily work through something… and have compassion for those pain warriors who are silently doing the fuck outta this life instead of succumbing to the excuses of their diagnosis or life circumstances. 

Discipline changes you. I have a tattoo on my arm that says “It doesn’t get easier, you just get better.” I read it nearly every day, and then get back on my mat to practice. It isn’t easy to maintain discipline every day, but that’s what working on your success every day teaches you to do. You make choices other people don’t, sometimes you choose to get up early to train… Sometimes you skip plans with friends to train… Sometimes you say “no” because it’ll affect how you’ll train the next day. People don’t understand that kind of commitment to something unless they’ve done it themselves. It isn’t something you think about that you’ll manage once you’ve made an incredible change. But you do.

You rebuild a lifestyle, and sometimes its painful as FUCK to change. But you do it anyway, because you learn to love yourself somewhere along the way. You learn to turn your excuses into actions in a way that simply talking about the “what-if” can never compare to. You learn to take action, and leave the bullshit of things that bring you down behind. You learn you are pretty damn cool, and always were… No matter what the nay-sayers scream and shout your way. 

Success is hard. You are going to have to learn that struggle is part of the recipe.


Let’s Talk About Your Training.